Jesy Nelson opens up on suicide bid post online abuse

Los Angeles, Sep 9 (IANS) Singer Jesy Nelson has revealed that she tried to take her own life after receiving abuse from online trolls.

In her documentary "Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out", the "Little Mix" star opened about how bullying affected her and her family, and why she decided to kill herself, reports "bbc.co.uk".

Jesy and her bandmates won the reality show "X Factor" in 2011, and received instant fame, but after her win, Jessy started getting trolled for her physical appearance.

"I had about 101 Facebook messages in my inbox, and the first one that came up was from some random man, saying: 'You are the ugliest thing I've seen in my life, you do not deserve to be in this girl band. You deserve to die'.

"It became the worst time of my life. I wasn't just known as one of the singers in Little Mix, I was known as 'the fat, ugly one'," she said.

So the singer tried to lose her weight and she cared more about her looks more than her performance.

"I'd lost quite a bit of weight, and we were going back on 'X Factor' to perform our new single. All I cared about was people seeing me and saying 'Oh, she looks good'. I starved myself for a week," she added.

But the trolling continued.

"I thought, 'I could be the skinniest girl in the world, and this is never going to go away'. That was the point I got severely depressed.

"I was on bed crying, thinking, 'This is never going to go, I'm going to feel sad for the rest of my life, so what is the point in being here?' The only way I can describe the pain is like constantly being heartbroken. I remember going to the kitchen and I just took as many tablets as I could. Then my ex, who was with me at the time, he woke up and was like, 'why are you crying?' I kept saying, 'I just want to die', Jesy said.

The 28-year-old has now stopped using the micro blogging site Twitter, and says she's "a lot mentally stronger and happier".

She added: "I'm a completely different person now, I'm a lot happier and mentally stronger. I really wanted to make this (documentary) because, as much as it was a horrible experience for me, I want to make something good come out of it. I've got this huge platform - why would I not use that to raise awareness of how social media is affecting people?"